so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
