she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
soo... how was my night?
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
