omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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