Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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