A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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