is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Randomize