He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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