happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
