The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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