3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
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