But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
