i jhust puked up my retainher.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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