Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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