This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
