Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
