i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize