I molested 6 butterflies tonight
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
