its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
We named our party play list daddy issues
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
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