I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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