and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
