it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
she smelled like a LAN party
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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