You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
