i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
