I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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