The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
