yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
