I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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