Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I queefed so loud it echoed.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
