Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Randomize
