I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
