Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
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