She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
