If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
