): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
