No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
