Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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