After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
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