The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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