No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
This is my life. Enjoy the view
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize
