So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
