anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
