at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize