i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
