she was so not down for the gang bang
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
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