there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Randomize