Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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