My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Randomize
