While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
