every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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