Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
