Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize