I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
