I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Randomize
