Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Randomize
