Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
