You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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