you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
