still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
