I look better un-naked...
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
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