I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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